I’ve been wanting a pair of saddle shoes or oxfords for the past I-don’t-know-how-many-months. I can’t seem to win in this department — I either find a pair that fit, but are too expensive (and don’t seem worth it because they look like they’ll tear my feet apart), or they’re the right price but they don’t have my size or the color that I want. RUGH. Shopping should never be this frustrating!

Even the first pair of saddle shoes I got were a bitch. I was 4 years old and I had been eyeing a pair at Stride Rite for the longest time. I wanted so badly to look like a 50’s girl with a poodle skirt and saddle shoes. I’ve never owned a poodle skirt though, I guess I figured the shoes would come first and then the skirt. Never happened. Anyhow, one day, Auntie Nelly and Papang (my grandpa) took me after school to get a pair. And whaddya know, they didn’t have my size. The woman that worked there gave me a pink & white pair that were a size smaller than mine. It was a really tight fit — I remember my foot was sort of puffing at the top, but I didn’t care. I was determined to leave with new shoes upon my feet. “Does it fit you, sweetie?” she asked. I said it did. Auntie Nelly said it looked too tight. “It’s fine!” I lied protested. So I got my saddle shoes, and though I walked in pain, my 4 year old self knew she was hot shit.

I guess that’s when I became a woman.

By the by, I always wondered what the difference between saddle shoes and oxfords were because they pretty much look the same, right? I did some “research,” and by “research” I mean I typed “difference between oxfords and saddle shoes” into Google, and it said that saddle shoes are plain at the toe while oxfords have designs throughout the entire shoe. So there you go. Cue the “The More You Know” shooting star.

So last week when I went to San Francisco, I found a beautiful pair of patent black & white Bass saddle shoe heels, pictured above. I was really tempted to try them on, but they were $108.95. Just typing the price makes my heart hurt. That’s like 11 hours worth of my paycheck. So then I walked into Bloomingdales for reasons that escape me because the only thing I can truly afford to buy there is one of their reusable brown bags (I think they’re around $4), and then I saw these gorgeous brown saddle shoe/boot hybrid thingies, also by Bass. I immediately started thinking of all the things I could wear with them — my white lace dress with a brown cardigan, a pink dress, a blue dress, basically any dress that’s hanging in my closet. It was on sale for $76 and my mom said I should try them on since the price was pretty decent. Have my first big splurge with my paycheck be on a pair of boots from Bloomies? Why the hell not! I asked one of the workers if I could try the boots and a pair of brown & green saddle shoes on, but alas. They did not have my size in either shoe!

Remember that blog post I put up about how sometimes things just don’t go your way? Yeah, this happened on that day. It was a bad day. At least I still have the internet as an option. <– there’s a silver lining to everything.