Geeky Confessions

When one identifies themselves as a geek, people will assume that they like and are knowledgeable about certain franchises in the Nerdverse, but this is never the case. Despite what Tyler Durden may say, us geeks are all special unique snowflakes because none of us are completely alike. Not all geeks love Doctor Who, think Ewoks are great, have never read the Harry Potter books, or watched Firefly — although I gasp dramatically when I learn these things from fellow geeks. I know deep down (waaaaaaay way way deep into the core of my soul) that it’s okay. Except for maybe the Ewok thing. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE EWOKS? They are adorable and totally badass and the Rebellion would be nothing without them!

– deep breath – Okay, okay. I’m okay.

Anywho, Mariko over at Gamerwife put together a list of her geeky confessions and has invited other bloggers to join her in sharing their deepest and most honest confessions about their geekyness.

So these are my geeky confeeessioooonsss (sung like Usher):

1. I decided to hate Harry Potter before I even read the books.

I am beyond ashamed to even admit this, but I was super “hipster” about Harry Potter. In 8th grade a librarian came to my one of my morning classes and talked about different books we all might be interested in. Harry Potter & the Sorcerer’s Stone was among one of the books and I thought it sounded interesting, but quickly forgot about it. Then a few years later Harry Potter was EVERYWHERE. Shirts, backpacks, socks, lunch bags — HARRY POTTER MERCHANDISE UP THE WAZOO. And it bothered me! Like, “ugh, why is this little wizard boy all over the place? What the eff is Quidditch? UGH.” Then it was adapted into a movie, and my aunt bought the book since it was all that was being talked about and I was like, “WHY?!” because it’s cool to hate on crap you don’t know about, right?. /sarcasm. My older sister read it out of curiosity. She told me it was actually good and I’d probably like it.  After I read it I was hooked and devoured books two, three, and four over winter break since those were all the ones that were published at the time. Now I wish I had a time turner so I could visit my younger self (in disguise so I wouldn’t go insane) and punch her in the lady parts for being such a stupid Muggle!

Lesson learned: Give things chances before I decide if I hate it or not. 🙂

2. I loathe Tinkerbell.

I am self-proclaimed Disnerd. Disney is the very first fandom I was ever part of. But just because I love Disney doesn’t mean I love EVERY character the company has ever created. That being said, I LOATHE TINKERBELL. I think she’s a jerk (I’m actually putting that very lightly, because I’ve called her more colorful things). She tried to have Wendy killed because she was jealous of all the attention she was getting from Peter for eff’s sake! Peter’s not even worth any girl’s time of day because he’s a jerk too. I can’t stand how she’s one of the most popular characters or how her image is used for almost every piece of Disneyland merchandise. And Disney, you are not fooling me with the franchise based on Tink and her fairy homegirls. Am I supposed to believe she was a nice little fairy that makes little do-dads before her days with Peter? Nope. Nu-uh. Not buying it.

3. I’ve never seen any of the original Star Trek episodes/movies, or The Next Generation (TNG). I’ve only seen the two JJ Abrams movies.

When I was on my community college’s newspaper staff, some of the writers talked about how much they loved TNG growing up, and when I admitted I had never watched it they were all shocked. And despite the fact that it’s now on Netflix, or that my former co-worker gave me a big binder full of bootlegs of EVERY Star Trek incarnation (except TNG because her brother told her to keep it), I have yet to sit down and watch them. I’ve always been familiar with the characters, and I thoroughly enjoyed the JJ Abrams movies… I’ll get around to watching the originals/TNG. I swear!

4. I don’t ship Kermit the Frog  and Miss Piggy.

This bothers me so much I actually wrote about it in my journal. Here’s a gist of what I wrote in it:

I think Kermit the Frog is a great as an individual. He’s extremely loyal to his friends and a well accomplished performer (“Rainbow Connection” brings me to tears), but as a significant other, he absolutely sucks. Here he has Miss Piggy who is utterly fabulous and loyal to him, and loves him to bits and pieces, but he DOES NOT APPRECIATE HER!!! He’s a total commitment-phobe. He doesn’t want to settle down with her properly despite the fact that they’ve been together for years (long before I was even born). Their relationship is just so messed up, I don’t even know why they’re together. I mean, I realize they’re fictional, but still! I want to slap both of them! I want to slap Kermit for being an unappreciative prick with a wandering eye (have you seen The Muppets Take Manhattan?). And I want to slap Miss Piggy because even though she can be obnoxious she’s still super fabulous, has an amazing sense of style, and is totally confident in her own skin, however when it comes to Kermit her senses turn to mush. It’s like dammit, Piggy! You are strong and confident, and that frog clearly doesn’t love you the way you love him. You deserve better!

Oh, and one of my friends told me while she was watching an old episode of The Muppet Show, Kermit made comments about Miss Piggy’s weight. MUCH RUDE. And y’know what? Just watch the last two Muppet movies that came out recently, and maybe you’ll miffed too. Okay, I’m going to stop now. I could go on about this, and I know it’s kind of ridiculous, but it seriously irks me to no avail.

5. I have never read a Jane Austen novel all the way through.

It’s expected for all English majors to have read at least one Jane Austen novel. Hell, I even took a Jane Austen class and was super excited about, but I would lose interest with each damn book almost immediately after opening it. I had to consult Spark Notes and whatnot, and whenever I read a chapter summary I’d think, “Well that interesting, what’s next?!” Then I’d go back to the book and re-read with a better understand, and then I noticed what my problem was. Jane Austen likes to ramble. I read the graphic novel version of Sense & Sensibility and loved it! And I assume I only enjoyed it so much was because it took out all the tangents the original text had. A year or so ago I attempted to read Pride & Prejudice and even downloaded an audio version to read along with (those sometimes help me stay focused on the text so my mind doesn’t wander), but I just couldn’t stick with it! So I’m thinking the only way I can enjoy Jane Austen is if her entire collection was turned into graphic novels. * shrugs shoulders *

I still don’t know how I passed with a B.

So what are your geeky confessions?



Liebster Award

Liebster Award

Victoria Barnett kindly nominated me for the Liebster Award! She has a cute little fashion and lifestyle blog that you can find here. I’ve actually been nominated for a Liebster Award before, but I’m flattered to be given the honor once again. 🙂

The Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you by linking to their blog.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger who nominated you asked.
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
  • Make 11 questions for your nominees to answer.
  • Let your nominees know you nominated them!

Victoria’s Questions:

1) Where’s somewhere you’d like to travel to?

AH! That is a loaded question! I want to go everywhere, but for the sake of having a simple answer I will say I’d love to explore the UK.

2) What’s a movie you could watch over and over?

“That Thing You Do!” has been one of my favorite movies since I was in 5th grade and I most definitely could watch it over and over. The music is infectious and the cast is perfect — and it was written and directed (and stars) Tom Hanks who is one of my all-time favorite actors. It’s just a WONDERful film (pun fully intended)!

3) What’s one makeup product you can’t live without?

Lipstick because it helps make me look more lively. Without it, I think I look kind of like a zombie. My favorite is Revlon’s Red Velvet.

4) What’s your favorite thing to do on a lazy day?

Marathon TV shows on Netflix, of course!

5) How many pets do you have, and if you don’t have any, what’s one you’d get?

I have one little doggy named Rory and he is the love of my life.

6) If you could live in the city, suburb, or countryside, where would you live?

I like the city, but only to visit. So I’d probably have to go with suburb because I can’t function without a Target nearby.

7) Name someone who had helped shape you into a better person.

There are so many people in my life who have! I won’t answer the obvious and say someone in my family has, but I’m going to go with Chaundra who is the security guard at the job I just quit a few months ago. She’s been my rock throughout the year and kept me strong in moments of weakness and always gives me words of encouragement and tells me how proud she is of me. I love that woman, she’s the best.

8) What’s your favorite restaurant to go to?

It really depends on my mood, but I’m going to say Cheesecake Factory because cheesecake.

9) Are you planning to purchase anything soon?


I’m most likely going to be pre-ordering Lang Leav’s next book of poems called “Lullabies” which is coming out later this month.

10) What’s your best trait?

I’m loyal to my loved ones like a true Hufflepuff.

11) What’s something that makes you smile?

Handsome British and Scottish actors. Or just actors from the UK. Examples: Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Ewan McGregor, Richard Madden, Kit Harrington, Gary Oldman (hell yeah, Gary Oldman!), etc. * le sigh * 

My Nominees:

I don’t know of nine other bloggers to nominate… * shrugs shoulders apologetically * 

My Questions:

  1. You’re throwing a fancy tea party – who are the 5 fictional characters you would invite?
  2. If you went to Hogwarts what house would you be sorted into?
  3. What is your guiltiest pleasure?
  4. What is the first fandom you ever became a part of?
  5. The Doctor lands his TARDIS in your room – all of time and space, where do you ask him to take you?
  6. What is one super power you wish you possessed?
  7. Do you have a celebrity crush? If so, who is it? Spill it, girl!
  8. What three items must you have with you whenever you head out the door?
  9. Which iconic Harrison Ford character do you like better: Indiana Jones or Han Solo?
  10. What’s your favorite song at the moment?
  11. What’s the first concert you ever went to?

Thankies to Victoria for nominating Le Fancy Geek for the Liebster Award! Your turns, Gwen and Kelsey 🙂



Happy Mama’s Day!

Hello my little ponies! My fur baby Rory and I just wanted to wish all the mamas, grandmas, aunties, and fur baby mamas a Happy Mama’s Day!!! We hope your day is full of great people, yummy om noms, and overall awesomeness ♡

Nina & Rory

PS: I will be announcing the blogaversary giveaway winner tomorrow! Thanks to all who entered 😀


BRB – Switching Servers!

Le Fancy Geek is going to be down for a day or two as I switch to my own server tomorrow (or Jen’s server, since she offered :))! If you subscribe via email, you should still be getting messages in your inbox for every new post after the switch, and I believe folks subscribed via WordPress Reader should still see updates too. As for Bloglovin’ followers, I’m not entirely sure, I’m still looking into that. x__x

I thank you all in advance for your patience and also for tuning into this little blog of mine. Once Le Fancy Geek is up and running again, I’ll be continuing with more Portland posts! 😀


bloop · geek style · shoppin'

Pie Day + Sale!

pie dress/Pushing Daisies necklace/Bass oxfords/Kate Spade purse/cardigan

As you may know the square root of π = 3.14, making the 14th of March Pie Day! Or Pi Day. I prefer the former because it involves the kind of pie you can eat and not numbers.

I’m an English major. You do the math.

For some reason the square root of π is one of the only things I remember from my high school math class. The F.O.I.L. method? Couldn’t tell ya, I don’t remember what the hell that thing is. But pi? 3.14 is the square root and that’s all I know. Anyhow, I put together a little outfit that I thought would be super appropriate to celebrate the day in. I mean, can that dress by ModCloth be anymore perfect? Nope. It can’t. And I also added my Ned the Pie Maker necklace from my Etsy store, Le Fancy Geek Boutique, to the ensemble because… well, pie. Duh.

And speaking Le Fancy Geek Boutique, there’s a great sale going on right now!

From now until Sunday, you can save $3.14 on your order (see what I did there?)! Just use the code “PIEDAY14” when you checkout. 😀

thor necklace_

Thor has absolutely nothing to do with pies, but you can pick up this necklace along with Ned the Pie Maker and many other designs during the sale 😀

Hope you ponies have a spectacular Pie Day!


bloop · geek style

La Vie En Rose

outfit details – cardigan: H&M // dress: ModCloth (buy here) // belt: Xhileration // shoes: Bass (buy here) // unicorn necklace: Fuego // purse: thirfted // glasses: Brooks Brothers (buy here)

Oh my God, an outfit post? SAY WHAAAT?! I know. I knooow, I haven’t posted one of these things since January because I’ve been a bad [see: lazy] blogger. Also, I have no idea where my camera disappeared to. Go figure. But Jen and I went on a photo spree [with her camera, obviously] all over Lodi on Saturday, and we even turned her backseat into a makeshift changing station for me! It was awkward, but sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do for the sake of a blog so there will be material for multiple blog posts in the future. I mean… right? Oh, and what’s that on my left forearm? A TATTOO?!?!

I’ve been up to a few things since I last updated Le Fancy Geek, but if you follow me on Instagram you would’ve seen a super puffy picture of it in the middle of my session that took place a few weeks ago. The last time I wrote about getting a tattoo on here I said I was going to have it done in April. I got extremely anxious and called up the shop and asked if the appointment in February I was originally offered was still open, and it was so I booked it. I’m super pleased with the design Jen Lee came up with for my carousel horse. It’s a lot bigger than I thought it would be [insert that’s-what-she-said joke], but I’m completely and utterly 10000000000000% in love with it, and I can’t wait to go back and get the rest of it colored in! I’m still adjusting to the fact that this thing of beauty is going to be on my forearm for the rest of my life, but its itchy presence constantly reminds me that it is, in fact, there. Getting the tattoo itself wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. It felt a lot like using an epilator on my arm — a really, really, intense epilator that sometimes felt like it was slicing into my arm. I’m pretty proud of myself for not crying or screaming profanities while getting it done. Do I get some XP badass points seeing that this is my first tattoo and it’s big with an insane amount of intricate details?

I keep getting asked what the significance behind it is by people who see it, and I just want to say, “Go read my blog” (this one in particular) because I think it’s packed with a lot of meaning and I covered it all a few posts ago. Most of the time I just say, “I just really love carousel horses” because I feel weird saying it represents the part of me that always celebrates my inner child or to keep staying curious or that the first piece of writing I ever had published was a personal essay where I compared life to a carousel ride. Saying those things feels too personal to say to an actual person asking a simple question. Writing it on my blog should be no different — I don’t know who’s reading it, or if you even care about the meaning, but you’re getting my complete and honest reason. It’s so easy to be honest on the internet, and that’s kind of a scary thing. Anyhow, I think I’ve gotten to the point where I’m starting to ramble soo, I shall end it here before my brain sends signals to my fingertips to keep typing more nonsense.

Until next time, my little ponies. 🙂



Flying Solo

Oh, Valentine’s Day. Or Single’s Awareness Day to the unattached.

To the masses, it’s just a stupid holiday that candy confectioners, floral arrangement businesses, and greeting card companies came up with in order to rake in a few extra bucks to keep momentum up after the fall/winter holiday season.

For years, people have assured me that Valentine’s Day isn’t just a day to celebrate romantic love, but all kinds of love — familial love, friendship, whatever. The cynic in me wants to call bullshit on that because if you look at the merchandise, that’s all it’s really targeted for. But the Edgar Allan Poe tote and chocolate dipped Oreo my mom gave me (and the other presents she’s given me on past V-Days) and the stuffed unicorn I’m going to get from Jen later today says otherwise.

I remember listing Valentine’s Day as one of my favorite holidays as a youngling because I liked the fact that we dedicated an hour of the day at  school to eat cookies and drink punch and pass out super adorable cards to classmates and get super adorable cards in return. But then it stopped happening. Suddenly, I became painfully aware that Valentine’s Day was for romantic couples. And at school we were given the option to buy Crush-o-Grams or some other sort of treat to send to friends during the day, and if your name didn’t get called by the delivery person, well, it was just a bit soul crushing. I always found myself bitter because I didn’t have anyone to call my Valentine, or just didn’t have anyone in general, and the only person who ever sent me a Crush-o-Gram in high school was my mom and she marked it as “From Jon Bon Jovi” because I was totally into 80s music my junior year of high school and I thought Jon Bon Jovi was pretty hot. “You couldn’t have at least put Orlando Bloom? He’s my age appropriate crush! And he’s cuter!” I said to my mom after receiving it. It was a sweet gesture, but so embarrassing! I love her for it anyway.

Even though I had someone for two years to call my Valentine, and oh God was I ever excited to celebrate my first one as a non-single lady, I still thought the holiday was a bit stupid. Like many others have argued, I agree that it shouldn’t take one particular day of the year to make all these grand gestures to show the person you’re with how much you love them. But to be completely honest, I have to admit that I relished the fact that I wasn’t alone and could properly celebrate the day by social standards if I wanted to. You’d feel the same way if you spent 24 (or 25?) consecutive Valentine’s Days alone, wouldn’t you? And I thought I didn’t have to ever worry about being alone each time the 14th of February rolled around till the day I died. Silly me for being so confident in my last relationship. I also grew up with a father that sent my mom a beautiful bouquet of flowers no matter what each year. Even if he was in the Philippines (which he was for quite a few Valentine’s Days), there’d be a bouquet waiting for my mom at work. Oh, and this year he decided to put the flowers together himself (tulips instead of his usual go-to red roses). So yeah. Expectations. I haz them… thanks to the way my dad treats my mom and Disney movies. Stupid Disney movies.

And now I’m back to where I started. Flying Solo with no wookiee to keep me company in my cockpit. Today also marks exactly two months since my break-up, so I can’t help but feel a bit woebegone and angry on this day where romantic love is glorified and I’m still trying to cope with the fact that I don’t have it anymore, and probably won’t for quite some time.

George Takei posted this  meme on his Facebook page with a caption that says: “Proof that you can be just fine alone today.” I’ve done this 24 or 25 times alone before. I can do it again. And I’d like to think I’m Han Solo, so this cheered me up a wee bit.


Whether you’re taken or single, I hope the day treats you well.


bloop · shoppin'

Kidecals Review

Hey my little ponies!

I was contacted by Kidecals to review any one of their products and I jumped at the opportunity once I saw that they have keycals — fancy decals to put on your keyboard (for Mac users, sorry PC folks). I’ve been eyeballing different kinds of decals similar to Kidecals’ on Etsy for my laptop since I’m growing tired of the plainness of the black ones that were manufactured onto mine — plus little oily marks were starting to show up from the natural oils from my fingertips. ¡No bueno!

There are about 40 different designs, but I opted to go with the Pretty Peonies because:

  1. It’s pretty.
  2. Peonies are easily in my top 5 favorite flowers.
  3. There’s no third reason, it just seemed odd to start listing things and only have two reasons.

Applying them took about 5-10 minutes with no difficulty whatsoever. Typing with them doesn’t really feel any different, and they most definitely make my laptop look much cleaner than before! I only have a couple of gripes with them, and they’re not really that big of a deal. But the decals for the very top keys don’t say F1, F2, F3, etc. I don’t use those keys all that much, but when I do I like being able to see what’s what. And there are also a few keys where the letter is hard to make out since it’s white type on top of a white image. I don’t mind this bit a whole lot since I know which key is which and don’t really need to glance down to see what letter is where, but there might still be some out there that still need to take a looksie, so it might not be completely ideal for them.

Overall, I’m really quite pleased with the keycals. I have a wireless keyboard for my iPad too, so I definitely want to look into picking up another set. My other favorite designs are Nebula  and Light Woodgrain. Each set of keycals are $16 and includes free shipping. And if you join the Kidecals newsletter, you’ll receive 15% off your first purchase 😀

Be sure to check out their site for other fun things like name labels, wall decals, stickers (I also picked up one that says “I Speak Geek”), and tons of other things!


FTC disclosure: Kidecals gave me a voucher in order to pick which product of theirs I wanted to review. All opinions stated are my own.


Indelible Ink

Whenever I find myself in a transitioning phase, I feel the urge to change something about my physical appearance. Three years ago, I was transitioning back to life in Stockton and cutting ties with people who I once thought were good friends, and also let go of a boy that I had pined over for  waaaay too long because I finally realized that it was just never going to happen. I looked at my long dark locks and said, “Fuck it. It’s ALL going!” And so I had it cut in a bob-like fashion above my shoulders. It was so short that I couldn’t even put my hair in a ponytail which completely freaked me out. Last month I seriously considered getting my hurr did with a deep purple ombre, because why the hell not? I would look like Rarity from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! But the thing with hair is that you can change it back to the way it was via hair dye and the patience of waiting for it to grow back (which mine does quite quickly). 

I thought of something else I had been wanting to do, a change that is more permanent: get a tattoo. I’ve thought long and hard about this for the past three years, maybe even more, and stumbled upon an artist in San Francisco named Jen Lee by way of one of my Creative Writing classmates, Haley. She has three tattoos done by her, and I’ve looked into Jen Lee’s work and it is extremely beautiful and well done… and sooo ‘spensive (if you look at her work, it’s obvious why she’s expensive). But I feel like she’s the artist who can truly execute what I want done, which is a portrait of Jingles, the lead carrousel horse at Disneyland. 

I set up a consultation with her last Thursday and scheduled April 15 to be the day I get it done. I could’ve had it done as early as February 22, but my parents want me to go somewhere with them that day, and every other available appointment would cut into my tutoring job, and I couldn’t really justify missing work to get a tattoo — even though I want it badly and now. Oh, and I totally went into this without saying a word about it to my mom or dad who aren’t crazy about body art. *nervous laughter* 

I confessed to my mom over a cup of hot chocolate the following day though. I couldn’t keep something like that from her for too long, y’know? To my surprise, she took it very well. She just doesn’t like the idea of it being so big (it’s going to take up a bit of my left forearm) — “Cant’ you get something smaller, like a locket?” she asked. And she’s even going to come with me when I get it done! 😀

With every tattoo (at least some, anyway), there’s significance behind it. So why a carousel horse for me? I’ve always had an affinity for carousels, particularly ones that are strictly equine because I’ve always loved horses too. And of course the one I want on me permanently is from Disneyland. Disneyland’s always been my happy place, it’s the place where I can truly just put every worry behind me and be a child, and no one will judge me for it. It’s important to celebrate your inner-child because life is too short to be so serious; this is something I try to do outside of Disneyland as well. So the carousel horse is to remind me, even in times like the one I’m going through right now, is to never let go of my inner child, and to also be a reminder that I must keep moving forward. 

The first piece of writing I ever had published was a non-fiction essay called “Hop on the Horse.” You can read it here if you’d like. In it, I compare life to a carousel ride. We go through all these ups and downs; the ride just keeps going despite whatever state you find yourself in. 

I suppose the tattoo represents a combination of many things.

Do you any of you have tattoos? What are they of and how did you come to the conclusion that you wanted it on yourself permanently? Or if you’re thinking of getting one, what are you planning on? I’d love to hear some of your tattoo stories 🙂



Time to Grow Up

Today is the last day that I can say, “I’m twenty-seven.” It’s an odd feeling coming to the realization that my twenty-something days will soon be behind me. I mean, I know I have one more year, but that’s it. My age will start with a 3 before I know it. But should that matter? It shouldn’t, but the idea of it frightens me. I couldn’t help but think of this quote from Helen Mirren that I came across on Tumblr last month. These are the pivotal years, 18-28,  this is when you really start to discover yourself — who you are and what you want and don’t want. As a child, I imagined what life would be like for me at this time. I thought I’d have my degree and that I’d be married with two kids and a dog, possibly living in San Francisco. As I grew older, the want for some of these childhood expectations began to fade and new dreams replaced them. Mostly the part about having kids and living in San Francisco. I realized I don’t want children, and that’s okay. San Francisco is a fun place to visit, but it’s not a place I’d like to call home. Living in the bay area for two and a half years taught me that. Childhood Nina would understand some of those things, but she’d mostly wonder where she went wrong and what happened to the determination to reach her goals went, or why she hasn’t met some of these childhood expectations.

When I was with Jennifer yesterday she said that time seems to go by faster once you turn 18. I noticed the fickle and mysterious beast known as Time goes by terribly fast at a much younger age. I want to say I was maybe in third or fourth grade. I thought about how kindergarten didn’t seem like it was a long time ago, but it really was; that soon I would be 10, then 11, then 12, then a teenager; middle school and high school would happen and then I’d have to come to terms with being an adult and figuring my life out. Time moved at a glacial pace only when I anticipated something. I’d think, “It’ll be here (whatever it was) before I know it.” And now here I am, almost twenty-eight. I used  my childhood philosophy of “it’ll be here before I know it” when it came to my relationship with Tim. This was the year we were finally going to figure things out, how to be together under one roof as a couple and really begin our lives together. But this is no longer an option, this dream has been put to pasture. I’m accepting it, but not lightly. My heart feels heavy and I often feel like I may spontaneously combust. Time is moving quickly and slowly as I’m trying to get through this and come to terms with growing up as an individual and him no longer being there as I go through the process.

I’m still young, but not that young. I cling to my inner child and celebrate it because having a career and earning money isn’t really enough to make life worth living, or at least I think so. But I need to face the fact that those elements are essential in me evolving as a person and that I do need to in fact embrace adulthood.

This is probably the most serious thing I’ve ever written on this blog. The intent I had when creating Le Fancy Geek three years ago was to have a creative outlet for my love of fashion and geeky things, but also a way for me to keep writing. But I feel like I haven’t quite written anything worth writing since I got my BA in Creative Writing four years ago. FOUR years ago. Christ. I wanted to write stories, I wanted to write things that mattered that people could relate to, I wanted to get lost in books and become inspired. But I lost the drive as fear and anxiety took over any time I tried to write a draft because blank pages are so goddamn intimidating. I found myself, and still find myself, having trouble concentrating on reading books. You can’t write if you don’t read. That’s something many of my professors would say in all my Creative Writing classes. And it’s so true. In some ways I feel like I’ve dumbed down and wasted time. I know I wasted time.

I may start writing like this more often on the blog — being more introspective, more honest, more vulnerable. That’s how I used to write, that’s what made me fall in love with the craft of writing to begin with. I’ll still have fun posts every now and then, but honestly with the state that I’m in, I’m finding it difficult to write the bubbly way that I used to without sounding insincere.

I hope you’ll stick with me.