I started writing this blog post at the end of March to post on April 1, but that obviously didn’t happen, because WTF it’s already the end of May.
So I’ll start over.
With the pandemic going on, many of us who aren’t considered essential workers have been laid off from our jobs (hi, it me). And with sheltering in place and only being able to go out for essential things I thought, “wow, maybe this will bring a blogger resurgence!” — like, LiveJournal/Xanga status kinds of blogging. Getting all deep and introspective, or just writing a lot in general. Because what do we have but time on our hands now? But alas. This is the first post I’ve written since NYE 2019. Haha!
At the beginning I was on constant edge about covid-19 (or as I’ve been calling it La Rona); I’d wake up with what I call hummingbird heart because it felt like mine was beating 250 beats per minute from all the anxiety built up. Sometimes I’d wake up with trouble breathing, and panicked even more because it made me think La Rona got me. Everything had me in a constant state of worry. But slowly, I’ve been able to keep it under control thanks to distractions like group chats and Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Honestly, Animal Crossing has been a true godsend! It helps me take my mind off everything, and I’ve been able to keep in touch with my friends and sister in a fun new way. Last month I also co-hosted another Sartorial Geek Fashion Fix Challenge, and participated in some fun projects with the Galactic Coven (like the pass the brush challenge). It’s nice to have those spurts of productivity in a time like this, especially since I feel like I haven’t been that productive. My room is still a mess and I haven’t read a book since February! It’s not for lack of trying — my mind just doesn’t want to shut up every time I pick up a book. And I get very overwhelmed with my piles and piles of clothes. I’m thoroughly annoyed by it.
Even though I feel okay most days, I can’t help but feel sad — which I know is totally normal and okay. I don’t know how long this is going to last, or when it’ll be safe to see my friends and other family again. I had so many plans that are now postponed until who knows when. April was supposed to be a fun month with a trip to LA to watch Riz Ahmed with some of my Bodhi Brigade sisters, and a BTS concert in the Bay Area with my mom and sister. SDCC was also cancelled, and I’m sure Star Wars Celebration will be too. And if it’s not, I’ll probably skip it because I wouldn’t feel safe going.
I miss being able to travel and explore. I miss random trips to Target just to walk around. I miss my family and friends. 😦
Whoever is reading this, I hope this finds you safe and well. Ideally at home and practicing social distancing. I mean, for those of us lucky to have a place to call home anyway.