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Goodbye

I’ve tried to write this post so many times. And I have quite a few unfinished drafts saved on my laptop to prove it. The writer in me wants to go into detail overload — I wanted to write about every single aspect of my relationship with my dearly departed Papang (grandfather), and all the emotions and scenarios I went through over the past two weeks as I feel like this is the hardest goodbye I ever had to say.

But perhaps I just needed to write those things for myself, not for Le Fancy Geek.

I’ll share some things with you though. Besides the two and half years I lived in the bay area while attending SFSU, I lived under the same roof as him my whole life. He took me to and from school, packed my lunches (which were AMAZING [and super unhealthy] as it contained Dr. Pepper, Fruit-by-the-Foot, Gushers, a pack of Famous Amous or Oreos, Corn Nuts, Doritos, etc, helped me with my homework, and a slew of other amazing things, but most of all he supported me and helped shape me into the person that I am today. I’m so grateful for him.

The house feels incredibly empty without his presence. I miss seeing him in the kitchen with the paper folded out in front of him as he does word puzzles, his leg bouncing up and down as he does so (a habit I’ve picked up from him). I miss his little mannerisms. I miss him warning me to be careful whenever I cut something with a sharp knife. I miss him telling me to “be a good girl! Be a nice girl!” whenever I go out — specifically with Tim. Haha!

Sad isn’t a strong enough word to describe how I feel over losing such an amazing person in my life, but I’m more at ease knowing that he lived a long life (he just turned 96 on June 29) and passed away peacefully in his sleep, in his own bed, around people who loved him.

xoxo,
Nina

10 thoughts on “Goodbye

  1. What a nice tribute to Papang. I’m sure he’s beaming with pride just as I am after reading this story. I laughed, I cried and also reflected how lucky we were for being part of this amazing family. Nina, you are amazing! Love, your Inay (mother)

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  2. What a loving tribute–I am so sorry for your loss. I unexpectedly lost my grandma a little over a year ago and understand the difficulty in trying to convey the love, loss and memories that person and their death have on your life in writing–you have done a truly wonderful job of that here.

    Best,
    Rachel
    http://www.thecuratorial.com

    Like

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