The Fruity Detoxification Dilemma

I’ve always been curious about detoxing and cleanses, but never bothered to fully look into them. Last month I started to push myself in a healthier direction by frequenting the gym at least 3-4 times a week for an hour and a half, doing Zumba (on my Wii), and doing a few Jillian Michaels DVDs (the latter two will kick your ass). Not too long into my attempt at being healthy, Groupon sent me an email with an offer for a 5-day fruit detox cleanse from A Choice For Life. Five days of eating nothing but fruit? HELL YES! I figured I could totally do that. I punched in my card number and clicked the ‘buy it’ button.

Fast forward to today.

I’m on day 2 and I am SO. F*CKING. MISERABLE.

gif courtesy of iambrony.com

Honestly, today is going a bit better than yesterday though. Yesterday I was a bitchy lethargic forlorn zombie. I went out to buy fruit and juice to consume for the next 5 days and what was my nose greeted with as I walked to the front door? Why, it was the smell of pork chops and chicken! WHAT THE HELL? We didn’t eat like that a week ago. Why is my family suddenly making food I want to eat? As I chomp on a peach I think of fish ‘n chips, cheeseburgers, tacos, cookies, and bacon, and other yummy things that are not healthy but taste so good.

I watched some episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic because that’s all my brain could really take and low and behold, they’re having a picnic. With cookies. COOKIES! Seriously, I never thought a cartoon could make me that upset over food. By that time I had already drunk 32 oz of apple juice. I felt delirious, weak, angry, and obviously I was starving.

My best friend Shanice started a juicing diet on Sunday and plans to do it for 2 months. I texted her to see how she’s doing and tell her I am going crazy. Hoping to hear she’s doing fine, she tells me she wants a pizza. After that, I can’t stop thinking about pizza.

I called Tim around 7:30 for emotional support. Our conversation went like this:

Tim: Hey!

Me: [sounding like I’m on my deathbed] Hi, booyfrieeend.

Tim: Oh my God, are you okay?

Me: [sounding like I’m crying because I’m holding back tears] Noooo.

Tim: What’s the matter?

Me: My cleanse.

Tim: What?

Me: My cleanse! My stupid cleanse. I’m so HUNGRY and I want a Double Double from Inn-N-Out.

I think I probably scared him at first due to my being dramatic.

This is basically what I looked like while I was on the phone with Tim.
photo via Tumblr

Well… 3 more days of this and I’ll be DONE. I’ve already lost 2 lbs, so it’s nice to know it’s working. I plan on writing about my overall experience with more details about the A Choice For Life detox cleanse, so expect a write-up sometime next week!

I guess I’ll go drink some grape juice now. 😦


I’m not dead yet…

Oh my, it’s been quite awhile since my last update hasn’t it? Ew. I just started a blog post with a question. Ever since my junior year of high school I’ve tried to avoid starting anything off with a question — my English teacher said it’s a cheap way to engage a reader. Sorry, Mr. G! And sorry to anyone who does happens to start off articles/posts/essays/etc. with questions… awkardly looks to the side and scrunches mouth.

But anyhow, I shall be writing about random and nerdtastic things here in a bit, including my attempt at an easy-peezy Nutella cookie recipe I found on Pinterest! However I’m working on a couple of posts that will be featured on other blogs. Bear with me please. 🙂

For now here’s a picture of Rory with a commission piece I had done by Jenny Parks, the creative master mind behind Doctor Mew! It’s Rory dressed as his namesake!!!


And here’s Rory’s namesake (in case you’re not familiar with Doctor Who, and in case you’re not you should really acquaint yourself with it):

via Tumblr