Last Monday, Tim and I went on a mission to find him a brand new pair of black Chucks for our Disneyland trip (we’re leaving on Thursday!!!). And, unlike other shoes, Chucks are best when they’re beat up and worn in — like they’ve lived. Y’know what I’m sayin’? I’m a fan of keeping my shoes clean, but there’s always been an exception with Chucks. Before we headed out, Tim put a baseball bat in his car saying that we would need it later. I assumed some Office Space stuff was about to go down, but I really had no clue as to what we’d actually need it for.
Phase 1 of our mission was to locate a pair of Chucks, the second phase was to buy them, and for Phase 3 Tim found an empty parking lot. He brought his new shoes out and told me about how new Chucks aren’t cool and that they needed to get dirty. We then proceeded to beat the crap out of his brand new shoes. Tim tossed them at me and I hit them as hard as I could with the bat. We ran around the parking lot and threw them in the air, kicked them, and stomped on them in a Sandra D-like manner like it was a cigarette (at least I did). It is seriously the BEST way to break in a new pair of Chucks. And also a good way to relieve stress.
So the next time you find yourself with a new pair of Chuck Taylors and you’re too impatient to break those suckers in, grab a bat and go ape sh!t.