Strange that it’s been a year…

This is me on 5 Dec. 2010

Time is such a tricky thing — there are days when it feels like it passes by too quickly, and there are days when it feels as if it’s moving at an extremely glacial pace, and some days are a combination of the two. I actually find it quite frightening how years tend to come and go. Like, where the hell did January go? Every time a new month approached this year, I kept thinking, “Where did January go? Wasn’t it just January?” And alas, it’s now December! And where did my *NSYNC teeny bopper days go? Wasn’t I just watching their Disney Channel concert for the umpteenth time at my cousin’s house an hour ago? No? That was 13 years ago? Holy shit. o__o

I checked my Tumblr archive to see what I was up to around this time a year ago, and apparently I was living by myself in my 3 room, 2 bath house in Daly City because all my housemates had moved out and found other places to live. I was stressed as f*ck trying to pack all my things to move back to Stockton AND prepare things for my last finals week as an undergrad at SFSU. Daly City is incredibly foggy, even during the summer. So seasonal depression hit me really hard at this point as I was not only by myself, but my surroundings didn’t feel personal anymore. Most of my things were already back at my parent’s home in Stockton. Also, the thought of moving back to Stockton wasn’t particularly thrilling. At the time I felt as if I was going backwards; shouldn’t I have tried to stay in the city and find a job like everyone else? Things didn’t work out on that end, and house hunting wasn’t particularly easy either. But even though Stockton isn’t thrilling (at all — besides Podesto’s sandwiches), it’s nice to know that I even had the option of coming back whereas other people don’t have the luxury of having their family help them out past the age of 18.

It’s strange how this all happened nearly 365 days ago and how much has changed since then, and also how much hasn’t. For one thing, the jacket I’m wearing in the picture above, I wore it this morning! Okay, not so significant, but anywho…

I’m still feeling quite lost in the whole what-am-I-supposed-to-do-with-my-life? department, and by that I mean career-wise. And even though I’ve experienced a lot of personal lows earlier this year, some parts have gotten better — I have my puppy, I have my best friend, and I opened up an Etsy store which is something I’ve wanted to do for years. So… yeah. I’ll be okay.

Me on 5 Dec. 2011 <-- a lot more happy than the 2010 version of myself

Sorry, I know I’m straying from what I normally write about for this here blog, but I felt that this was the appropriate venue to write these particular thoughts on.

More happy posts to come in the nearby future! 🙂

PS: This song has been stuck in my head for most of the day:

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  • I am glad that you are happier this year than you were last year. 🙂 I hope that 2012 is even better!

  • Janine

    Happy that you’re happy 😀 And that’s a great song, thanks for recommending it =)